Baby Grayson Birth Story Part II

Birth Story Part II


This is all the day of, actual labor, story. I don't feel like this part will be very long since the whole thing only lasted a few hours.


I had practice contractions for weeks before labor actually happened. At the birth center they don't check to see how dilated or effaced you are the weeks prior. From what I understand those stats aren't very good predictors for when labor will happen and so they just don't do it. With Ellie, Dr. Watson checked my cervix the last several appointments. I liked the way the birthing center did it, no unnecessary tests.


With Ellie I was induced and so I didn't actually know what it was like to go into labor on my own. I was pretty curious what that would be like and if I would know. I know, I know...How could I not know? It was still a fear, one I actually dreamt about. Several times. So, second baby, but first time going into labor on my own. I woke up at about 3:30 am on February 3rd with contractions that got my attention. I was told that was when I wanted to start timing them. They weren't ever set-your-watch-by-them consistent but they kept up intensity. From the time I woke up they were already about 5 minutes apart and 50-60 seconds long. I timed them for 45 minutes and decided it was time to wake up my hubby, Dana, and to call the birth center.

This is the record of my contractions

I called the hotline and spoke to the student midwife on call. She asked me about my contractions. She asked if I could talk through them and if I could walk through them. I think by the time I called her I was having a hard time talking through them. I remember needing to take a minute while I was on the phone with her to breath through one. She conferenced the midwife into the call and she asked her own questions. I don't think they believed me but they said we could come in. We packed up the last few things before heading out. We were to meet at the birth center at 5:45 which was about 45 minutes from the time we got off the phone. The birth center was a half hour drive from our place. I gathered the last minute things and told my mom and dad we were leaving. My mom was going to come with us but got sick the day before so she didn't end up coming. I remember this being pretty slow going as I needed to stop every few minutes to breath through contractions. At this point I had stopped timing my contractions but there were very close together. We left the house at 5:30.


At no point were my contractions unbearable but they did take my full concentration. I did need to focus on relaxing. The truck ride was interesting because Dana had music going and was talking to me about normal things. I'm sure he said something to me about cars, since that is one of his favorite things to talk about. Other than needing to focus on relaxing every few minutes and probably asking him to repeat something he had said while I went to my own little world, it was a very normal drive for us...except at 5:30 in the  morning, that was a little strange too. Contractions were still regular and still grabbing my attention.


We arrived at the birth center at 6:00 am and the midwives were there and very cheery. Seriously, some of the most pleasant people I've ever met. I walked in and they greeted me. I was excited to be there. I was about 4 days passed my estimated due date. Pretty sure those 4 days were the longest of my life. They had me lay down on the couch and the midwife checked me first and the student midwife checked me second. Hooooooooly goodness gracious they took forever. They were checking my cervix and the baby to see where he was and how far progressed I was but MAN it took forever. If I had one complaint that would be it.


I've heard so many women talk about being in labor and really feeling the contractions (whether or not they are in pain) then to be checked only to find out they aren't very far progressed. I was so hoping to be on the other end and close to delivery (what woman doesn't? am I right?). They weren't in much of a hurry. They were also timing my contractions. I was surprised to find out they were timing them based on the look on my face and my apparent comfort level. I asked them because the length they were coming up with was much shorter, like half, of what I had timed or what I was feeling. I think maybe that was why they took so long. They wanted to make sure I was as far along as my cervix said I was. Anyway, I was 7 cm out of 10 cm dilated. I was pleasantly surprised.


We started moving from the exam room to the labor/delivery room at about 6:15 when contractions became even more intense. While I was walking to the room they were starting the water for a bath. I wanted desperately to labor in the water and possibly deliver. It wasn't meant to be. I didn't even get a chance to change my shirt before my waters burst at 6:20. After that, contractions were too intense, too close together, and took too much concentration to worry about changing. My water first broke while I was sitting on the edge of the bed and the urge to push became very strong and I laid on my back. I moved to my right side and little man's heart rate dropped considerably. I moved to my hands and knees and his heart rate went right back up. They also gave me oxygen. I wish I understood that part better. The mask gave me a claustrophobic feeling. I had it with Ellie too. It didn't matter as much with her because I didn't feel the intensity of my contractions when it came time to push. The mask was a little bit of a distraction but I was able to focus and stay calm despite the distraction. When I moved from my side to my hands and knees Dana was right there and he held me up. My arms were around his neck. I loved that. I didn't want anything other than that, just for him to be there. Little man crowned at 6:46. Strangest feeling was when he was crowning. I felt like he was moving up and down in the birth canal but I'm guessing that was my imagination. They let me feel when he was crowning and that was encouraging and exciting. What was even stranger was when the rest of his body came out. I felt a release of pressure but I was in disbelief when they told me he was out. I expected more. That's weird to say but it was true. I expected it to take longer once he had crowned. I had gravity helping and they really did have to catch him because he came out so quick. He was born at 6:47 am. They passed him to me through my legs and that was when I realized he was born. I think Dana had to point out that they were handing him to me. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing and then they clamped and cut it at 6:57. Grayson was perfect. One minute APGAR score of 10. Five minute APGAR score of 10. Perfectly pink and beautiful. He latched on almost immediately and nursed like a champ. I had two tears. One labial that was 7 cm and the other 2 cm 1st degree perineal. I was really hoping for no tears but baby came fast. I healed surprisingly quick as well, so much quicker than with Ellie. They finished stitching me up and the newborn exam and left at 9:17. We all ate, cleaned up a little, and napped until noon when I got up, showered, and got dressed. We left the birthing center about 1:00, got lunch, and were home by 2:00 pm.


Altogether labor and delivery was about 3 hrs and 45 minutes. It was a calm and almost completely pain free experience. It was intense, no doubt about it, but the pain was very minimal. I was a little wary about sharing my experience because it was pretty uneventful and quick. It was very special to me but very ordinary. I wanted to share mostly for those reasons. While birth is an amazing and intense event it doesn't need to be traumatic or painful. That's why I share. More women need to know that what is shown in the movies with women screaming, angry, or in extreme pain isn't how it really is or how it needs to be. I was calm and peaceful. Up until I needed to use all my energy to focus on relaxing I was happy and cheerful and talking. Not all women have quick births and not all women can have a vaginal birth. Not all women can or want to birth without pain medications, but most women can. The majority can or could if that is what they wanted. I don't fault any women who chooses to have an epidural or other pain medications. I had an epidural with Ellie. This is just my experience and I loved it.

Grayson Parker was born 8 lbs 3 oz 20 inches long

Baby Grayson's Birth Story Part I

This is part I of Grayson's birth story. I decided to separate them so that those who were more interested in the actual birth could read just that if they so desired.


I'm really not sure exactly where to start with his story. I'm sure every birth story has back story. I'm sure most mothers-to-be plan out how their dream birth would go. With Ellie I didn't really have much of an idea how I wanted things to go. I knew that I was hoping not to need an epidural but if I ended up being induced with pitocin I wanted an epidural. Ellie was induced and was born in a hospital while I was laying on my back. My few other hopes were to be able to move around and to be able to labor in water. The tub wasn't available when we got there because someone was in it already. I wasn't unhappy with my birth experience with Ellie but I was hoping for a different experience with Grayson. When I was pregnant with Ellie, Dana and I went to an all day birthing class. I believe it was a nurse who taught the class. She explained how labor doesn't need to be painful and that the pain is caused by the laboring mother working against herself. I'll admit, I didn't believe her. I wanted to believe her. It was the first time I'd ever heard that labor didn't have to hurt. Her explanation made sense to me though.



I didn't think much about painless labor until after I was pregnant with Grayson and I didn't start to believe it was really possible until after I read a friend's blog. She had used hypnobabies, a self-hypnosis laboring technique. She had labored for quite a while(think 30 plus hours) but remained calm and gave birth without pain medication even though she was exhausted. Her story inspired me. I didn't think it was something I could do. I couldn't go through labor without losing control or feeling extreme amounts of pain. I did want to. I wanted to labor and birth my child like she did. I wanted to be calm and to feel minimal pain. I was a long way away from making that happen when I was first pregnant with Grayson.



My pregnancy with Grayson started much like it did with Ellie. I went to Dr. Watson for prenatal appointments like I did with Ellie. We had insurance and everything was set with insurance until we moved. In Utah Dana got a job about a month and he made just enough to disqualify us for government aid and insurance through his work wouldn't start until December. I looked into self-pay options for prenatal appointments because it would be a couple of months until insurance would cover me. I also looked into costs at the hospital because of the types of plans that were available through Dana's work. The insurance would leave us paying quite a bit of money and we couldn't count on a specific amount. Did you know that hospitals keep track of how often nurses have to come in and charge you more the more they come in to your room? I had no idea. Also, the cost of an epidural is based on how many hours you use it. Bottom line, hospitals are expensive and I had sticker shock. Even with insurance prenatal care with the hospital stay for me and for Grayson was going to be a lot of money. Another friend of mine had decided to go to a birthing center for prenatal care and for delivery. When she decided to use the birthing center she was super excited and told me all about it. Their prices are great and it's paid in a lump sum before versus after and based on how many times a nurse has to come in or how warm you keep the room. The price also includes Grayson's stay.



Financially, the birthing center was the best decision. I had to think about it. I did think about it for some time, even before bringing it up with Dana. Money didn't seem like a good enough reason to choose a birthing center over a hospital, no matter how much I disagreed with their billing. I researched the center and it's proximity to a hospital. I read all I could on their website about how they did things. It turned out they do prenatal appointments a lot like mainstream obstetricians. They still do glucose tests and group B strep tests. They still checked my vitals each visit. I had to consider that I wouldn't have the option of an epidural or that if I tore bad enough or if anything went "wrong" I could end up being transferred to a hospital. I also needed to consider how Dana would feel seeing me in pain. When I was induced with Ellie I felt a lot of pain with contractions. Dana said at one point I was scary. We joked about it but I didn't want to "scare" him with baby two. We had both assumed that a non-medicated birth would be more painful than my induced and medicated labor and birth. We decided to go for it. Based on my first labor and delivery as well as pregnancy, we both felt it was safe.



I was still concerned about how to deal with labor and delivery pains. I had thought about going to a birthing class. Specifically, I was looking into hypnobabies which is different from hypnobirthing(mongan method) if you were curious. Hypnobabies classes are seemingly plentiful around the Utah County area but still pricey. I had heard great things about the method but aside from not having the funds available for the class, Dana was very busy with work and didn't have the time either. So that wasn't an option. I ordered the Hypnobirthing book off of eBay for $8...much cheaper. There are classes for Hypnobirthing too but I don't think I found any in the Utah County area but again cost and time wouldn't have allowed us to attend those classes.



Once I got the book I read a couple of chapters that explained a little of the history of how women birthed, how women in other countries birth, and how labor doesn't have to hurt. The whole basis is that over the last couple hundred of years western civilization has created a culture of fear surrounding labor and birth. According to hypnobirthing, fear is why labor hurts. Laboring women who are afraid of labor pain tense up and their uterine muscles work against each other creating pain. I was at a crossroads. I didn't want a painful labor and delivery and I didn't want to pay for classes that claimed they could give me what I wanted. Here's a little side-note: during my growing up years, my dad talked a lot about ways to achieve what you want through self-hypnosis. It's a lot like the visualization athletes do before a game, think "be the ball" sort of thing. He called it neuro-linguistic programing or NLP. I've used it several times and it works. I struggled with nerves trying to get my driver's license and my dad helped me to talk myself through it beforehand. Basically, all I did was visualize the test and told myself I already had my license and that my driving test was just a formality. That took the pressure off and helped me to relax during my driving test. It worked and I passed after having failed the driving portion once before. Also, when I was around 12 years old my dad had some cassette tapes that taught you how to learn how to relax your whole body.  With all of this in my past I knew there had to be a way to achieve this relaxation and in turn painless labor without buying these other programs. I could do it.


When I look back on how I prepared it seems so simple and I feel like it shouldn't have worked. All that I did was envision my labor, it not hurting, and practice relaxing when I had practice contractions. I did that whenever I couldn't sleep because little man was keeping me up and when I would take baths. I practiced my vision of my ideal birth in the bath because the warm water helped me to relax also. In my vision of my ideal labor and birth contractions didn't hurt, I was calm, and labor progressed quickly. I think the reason it worked is because I believed. I want to insert here that I don't mean to say that others who don't have their ideal labor and delivery are any less. I understand the way that babies come into this world can be a pretty hot topic. I believed in what my body could do. I do however, believe that women do have more influence over how they birth than mainstream ideology leads us to believe.


While looking back on my experience I felt like I had something to share with the world, with women who have or will one day give birth to a child; expensive classes, programs, books, or systems aren't necessary. If you have the time and the money for them that is awesome. I would have liked participate even just for the experience and piece of mind. I believe they work. I just don't believe those books, classes, or programs are the only way to get the results you want.


Check back later for the rest of Grayson's birth story.