Baby Grayson's Birth Story Part I

This is part I of Grayson's birth story. I decided to separate them so that those who were more interested in the actual birth could read just that if they so desired.


I'm really not sure exactly where to start with his story. I'm sure every birth story has back story. I'm sure most mothers-to-be plan out how their dream birth would go. With Ellie I didn't really have much of an idea how I wanted things to go. I knew that I was hoping not to need an epidural but if I ended up being induced with pitocin I wanted an epidural. Ellie was induced and was born in a hospital while I was laying on my back. My few other hopes were to be able to move around and to be able to labor in water. The tub wasn't available when we got there because someone was in it already. I wasn't unhappy with my birth experience with Ellie but I was hoping for a different experience with Grayson. When I was pregnant with Ellie, Dana and I went to an all day birthing class. I believe it was a nurse who taught the class. She explained how labor doesn't need to be painful and that the pain is caused by the laboring mother working against herself. I'll admit, I didn't believe her. I wanted to believe her. It was the first time I'd ever heard that labor didn't have to hurt. Her explanation made sense to me though.



I didn't think much about painless labor until after I was pregnant with Grayson and I didn't start to believe it was really possible until after I read a friend's blog. She had used hypnobabies, a self-hypnosis laboring technique. She had labored for quite a while(think 30 plus hours) but remained calm and gave birth without pain medication even though she was exhausted. Her story inspired me. I didn't think it was something I could do. I couldn't go through labor without losing control or feeling extreme amounts of pain. I did want to. I wanted to labor and birth my child like she did. I wanted to be calm and to feel minimal pain. I was a long way away from making that happen when I was first pregnant with Grayson.



My pregnancy with Grayson started much like it did with Ellie. I went to Dr. Watson for prenatal appointments like I did with Ellie. We had insurance and everything was set with insurance until we moved. In Utah Dana got a job about a month and he made just enough to disqualify us for government aid and insurance through his work wouldn't start until December. I looked into self-pay options for prenatal appointments because it would be a couple of months until insurance would cover me. I also looked into costs at the hospital because of the types of plans that were available through Dana's work. The insurance would leave us paying quite a bit of money and we couldn't count on a specific amount. Did you know that hospitals keep track of how often nurses have to come in and charge you more the more they come in to your room? I had no idea. Also, the cost of an epidural is based on how many hours you use it. Bottom line, hospitals are expensive and I had sticker shock. Even with insurance prenatal care with the hospital stay for me and for Grayson was going to be a lot of money. Another friend of mine had decided to go to a birthing center for prenatal care and for delivery. When she decided to use the birthing center she was super excited and told me all about it. Their prices are great and it's paid in a lump sum before versus after and based on how many times a nurse has to come in or how warm you keep the room. The price also includes Grayson's stay.



Financially, the birthing center was the best decision. I had to think about it. I did think about it for some time, even before bringing it up with Dana. Money didn't seem like a good enough reason to choose a birthing center over a hospital, no matter how much I disagreed with their billing. I researched the center and it's proximity to a hospital. I read all I could on their website about how they did things. It turned out they do prenatal appointments a lot like mainstream obstetricians. They still do glucose tests and group B strep tests. They still checked my vitals each visit. I had to consider that I wouldn't have the option of an epidural or that if I tore bad enough or if anything went "wrong" I could end up being transferred to a hospital. I also needed to consider how Dana would feel seeing me in pain. When I was induced with Ellie I felt a lot of pain with contractions. Dana said at one point I was scary. We joked about it but I didn't want to "scare" him with baby two. We had both assumed that a non-medicated birth would be more painful than my induced and medicated labor and birth. We decided to go for it. Based on my first labor and delivery as well as pregnancy, we both felt it was safe.



I was still concerned about how to deal with labor and delivery pains. I had thought about going to a birthing class. Specifically, I was looking into hypnobabies which is different from hypnobirthing(mongan method) if you were curious. Hypnobabies classes are seemingly plentiful around the Utah County area but still pricey. I had heard great things about the method but aside from not having the funds available for the class, Dana was very busy with work and didn't have the time either. So that wasn't an option. I ordered the Hypnobirthing book off of eBay for $8...much cheaper. There are classes for Hypnobirthing too but I don't think I found any in the Utah County area but again cost and time wouldn't have allowed us to attend those classes.



Once I got the book I read a couple of chapters that explained a little of the history of how women birthed, how women in other countries birth, and how labor doesn't have to hurt. The whole basis is that over the last couple hundred of years western civilization has created a culture of fear surrounding labor and birth. According to hypnobirthing, fear is why labor hurts. Laboring women who are afraid of labor pain tense up and their uterine muscles work against each other creating pain. I was at a crossroads. I didn't want a painful labor and delivery and I didn't want to pay for classes that claimed they could give me what I wanted. Here's a little side-note: during my growing up years, my dad talked a lot about ways to achieve what you want through self-hypnosis. It's a lot like the visualization athletes do before a game, think "be the ball" sort of thing. He called it neuro-linguistic programing or NLP. I've used it several times and it works. I struggled with nerves trying to get my driver's license and my dad helped me to talk myself through it beforehand. Basically, all I did was visualize the test and told myself I already had my license and that my driving test was just a formality. That took the pressure off and helped me to relax during my driving test. It worked and I passed after having failed the driving portion once before. Also, when I was around 12 years old my dad had some cassette tapes that taught you how to learn how to relax your whole body.  With all of this in my past I knew there had to be a way to achieve this relaxation and in turn painless labor without buying these other programs. I could do it.


When I look back on how I prepared it seems so simple and I feel like it shouldn't have worked. All that I did was envision my labor, it not hurting, and practice relaxing when I had practice contractions. I did that whenever I couldn't sleep because little man was keeping me up and when I would take baths. I practiced my vision of my ideal birth in the bath because the warm water helped me to relax also. In my vision of my ideal labor and birth contractions didn't hurt, I was calm, and labor progressed quickly. I think the reason it worked is because I believed. I want to insert here that I don't mean to say that others who don't have their ideal labor and delivery are any less. I understand the way that babies come into this world can be a pretty hot topic. I believed in what my body could do. I do however, believe that women do have more influence over how they birth than mainstream ideology leads us to believe.


While looking back on my experience I felt like I had something to share with the world, with women who have or will one day give birth to a child; expensive classes, programs, books, or systems aren't necessary. If you have the time and the money for them that is awesome. I would have liked participate even just for the experience and piece of mind. I believe they work. I just don't believe those books, classes, or programs are the only way to get the results you want.


Check back later for the rest of Grayson's birth story.